Horror Club: Mortuary Massacre
From director Chris J. Miller comes MORTUARY MASSACRE - 2016's epic, blood-soaked, gore-filled, terror-inducing, retro style horror anthology that will leave you in shock and disgust. The film features three short stories presented in a very clever, creative, and gory grand story line. The film its self clearly honors the grindhouse films of horror's past, and it does so in a very comedic way that works so goddamn well. It's filled with enough blood, guts, and cheese as you could possibly want from a film of its kind, making it an absolute must-see for fans of the genre, I honestly can't say that enough. The movie will have you "ooh-ing" and "ahh-ing" pretty much from the get-go until the very final moments - if you don't enjoy at least one of the three films, you're out of your mind. This blood bath film contains everything we love about horror - making it 100% Soulless Cult approved!
Mortuary Massacre starts off its trilogy by introducing you to Detective Giger as he gets summoned to Romero-King Mortuary (the greatest name for a mortuary) by local mortician Mortimer King. King called in the help of the detective after receiving three rather unusual corpses on Halloween Night, and his suspicion of unnatural forces aiding in these deaths became a cause for concern. These three corpses are the string connecting all three short stories - each corpse telling its own brutal, bloody story. Detective Giger refuses to believe that unnatural forces had any play in the deaths, and tries to justify the story of each corpse in a more "rational" way. "The Apartment" is the first of these three films; it tells the story of an apartment manager as he begins to lose his mind and begins to see horrific, terrorizing visions on the property. These visions eventually lead him into a downward spiral of madness as he believes everyone is out to hurt him and his property. The visions this dude sees are fucking wicked - cute chicks in blood baths, bare chested women with missing skin, and even evil zombies with guns. It gets pretty insane and humorous the more it plays, and has a pretty twisted ending that just adds that extra bit of awesome to it. "Snake Eyed Jack" is the second of the three Mortuary Massacre stories: this one tells the story of a group of friends that bust out a scrying mirror (think Ouija board) on Halloween night and use it attempting to contact one of the girls deceased father. Things go sour rather quickly, however, and the group soon realize it might have been a bad idea to fuck with the dead as an undead cowboy comes to wreck havoc on the friends. While it felt like the weaker of the three films, it certainly doesn't suck at all - it's still filled with all the gory goodness promised to us and an ending that really brings the story to fullness. The cowboy - which graces the box art/promo posters for the film - is a pretty horrifying villain and dishes out a great dose of gross. "False Face" became an instant favorite and an instant classic for me - easily becoming the freakiest, funniest, possibly goriest, and most over the top entertaining story in Mortuary Massacre. It tells the story of an aspiring actor who just wants to act, but is constantly being overthrown by a "prettier" actor. After he finally has enough, he sets out to seek revenge on this guy who has been ruining his career and... well, let's just say shit gets bloody as fuck. Mortuary Massacre was already great up until this point - but "False Face" takes it to a whole new level of "what the fuck." It has some of the most shockingly awesome elements I've ever seen, and it will surely stick with me for years to come.
The appearance of the three films (plus the main story short), the acting, the editing and even the story telling all scream classic '80s horror; there's no doubt in my mind that the folks behind this film grew up as fans of these types of movies. This isn't something big Hollywood can ever replicate - it's true art done by people who grew up appreciating the art its self. But the effects and overall gore in this one is top notch bloodfest. While it certainly isn't the most authentic feeling, it looks absolutely fucking awesome - there's no shortage of absolutely gruesome scenes in any of these films. It does such a good job at mixing blood and fun that Mortuary Massacre ranks pretty high on my favorite splatter films. While its true that the acting and story telling may not be award winning material, make no mistake: this thing is a bloody good time, and the team behind it showed their appreciation for these types of sick, over the top films we have all grown to love. The final verdict is that Mortuary Massacre is well worth your money to rent, if not buy - it's definitely not going to be for everyone, but if you love a little horror comedy mixed with splatter, this one is a gem.
Check out the trailer below for "Mortuary Massacre" available now on streaming services!