Aquaslash



Summer 2020 has officially started... and it's kinda off to a shitty start already, you know, with the whole pandemic and everything. Most of us beach goths are staying away from the sand this summer to avoid being around crowds, but the one good thing that can come of this is: more time for horror movies! And look no further for your horror of the summer: AQUASLASH. The film recently hit on demand services and is everything you're looking for in a summer horror: hot babes with tiny bikinis, plenty of good drink and smoke, bunch of dumb teens and oh yeah, don't forget water slides with giant blades inside of them that dismember party-goers! That's right, Aquaslash has no shortage of blood, guts and gore pouring down its epic water slide and it's absolutely fucking ridiculously good. When I first checked out the trailer for the movie, I knew immediately I wanted to watch it and about halfway through the movie, I was getting worried it wasn't quite what I thought it was; but boy does this movie more than deliver what it advertises. The film is touted as a chlorine and blood drenched murder mystery, and the description pretty much nails it on the head. If you're a fan of horror comedies that don't take themselves too seriously, Aquaslash is the film for you this summer - I promise!


To sum up the plot, a bunch of newly graduated high schoolers descend upon the Wet Valley water park for a weekend of sex, drugs, music and of course, water rides! There's a ton of drama that one could imagine would go down between a large group of teens and some adults who never grew up, but it all means absolutely nothing when two large metal blades are lodged into the enclosed water slide in an X formation and the teens begin flying down the tube during a contest. Before you know it, blood, guts and body parts are raining down the slide and filling the pool at the bottom with a sea of dark red. Heads, arms and limbs float through the water as fellow park goers scream and run - remembering the gruesome history the park hides from decades prior. Will you find out who's responsible for the brutal dismemberments, or will the water slide killer remain a mystery forever? Find out in... AQUASLASH!


So before the name throws you off, the film isn't exactly a slasher like you might expect - but don't worry, plenty of people definitely get slashed and diced up, just not by a killer wandering around. The giant sharp blades lodged inside of the water slide will bring riders to their doom, even as we see one kid trying to hold on for his life as he slowly descends down the tube. The kills and gore in this film - in their hilariously brutal fashion - make this film worth every minute and penny spent well worth it for viewers who enjoy a sinister horror comedy. My only real complain about the film would be the lack of utilization of the rest of the water park as a murder weapon; you see, just the two blades inside of the slide are the culprits for all of the death the film contains. But there's so many different elements to a water park that it would have been sick to see blood raining down from all over the park, and all of the rides spewing guts. I'm sure it would have costed the production a lot more to get all of the different rides and pools into crime scenes, but I feel like it would've really upped the "holy shit" factor of the movie. But that's not to say the film doesn't deliver, of course - if you've been paying attention, Aquaslash is a necessary monster for all horror fans this summer!


The plot itself is pretty basic and pretty predictable, but honestly, a mindblowing story isn't what we watch films like this for. We watch films like this for a good laugh, some over-the-top kills and characters we either love to hate or genuinely love. Aquaslash is literally loaded with beautiful women and douchey guys, and while none of them really stand out as super memorable, there's plenty of skin scenes to make up for all the lame dudes in the film. The ending, too, isn't too surprising or revolutionary - however, the way the ending is portrayed is actually pretty awesome and it felt like the payoff was well worth it. I can't imagine anyone who has seen it not at least say "huh" as the credits begin to roll - it's enjoyable, for sure. But the biggest thing viewers need to do is just be patient with the film; the dramatic, slow storyline does lead to something pretty epic and pretty wild, so just enjoy the ride while it lasts, before you're plunged into utter chaos and gore!


Every once in a long while I'll come across a movie like Aquaslash where I'm so amazed by the madness I'm seeing that I just instantly love it. This movie definitely did it for me, simply because it was clever, entertaining and more bloody than some "real" slashers I've seen in the past - they definitely didn't hold back on the blood. Writer and director Renaud Gauthier definitely had a vision for this film and I feel like it translated really well to the screen. Like I said, it would've been cool to see some more utilization of the rest of the park as weapons, but I totally understand how that can get expensive really quickly. And as long as you know you're going into a film that takes a little while to get going, you'll rejoice in a sea of red blood as the second half of the movie picks up and bodies get sliced and diced one after another. I can't recommend this one enough - check it out!!!


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