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The Scrotum

One of the great things about the horror genre is the ability to turn anything into a bloodthirsty killing machine. Think about how many films we have where inanimate either come to life or lead to murder: Rubber (a tire), Killer Sofa (a chair), Attack of the Killer Donuts (donuts!), Poltergeist (a tv set), The Stuff (ice cream)... the list goes on and on. While we're at it, we've already all seen Teeth about a vagina with some dental issues, but we've finally gotten the movie we didn't know we needed, but now cannot live without: THE SCROTUM! The film was directed by Troy Prater and features - you guessed it - a killer scrotum eager to slaughter anybody and everybody in its sight. Obviously, this is a very niche film that was created for fans of the genre by fans of the genre, but if this is your kind of movie, The Scrotum is an absolute, without a doubt must-see. It's silly, it's stupid, it's outrageous - but it's bloody, it's funny, and it's entertaining as hell. If you are the type of horror fan who loves a good out of control, overly obnoxious blood fest of an inanimate slasher, The Scrotum is going to hit all of the things you love, guaranteed. It's a quick watch - clocking in at just over an hour - and the film is very fast-paced, pretty much immediately throwing you right into the action. So worst comes to worst, you'll only be wasting an hour of your day but I'm fairly confident if you're reading this review already, you're gonna love what you're about to see. The Scrotum is a fantastically obnoxious little slasher that now ranks highly amongst the best of the inanimate object horrors - in my book, at least!

The killer thing about films like this is the simplicity of their plots, and the case is no different with The Scrotum: a couple goes away on a weekend getaway camping trip in the middle of the woods, and Lindsay (Kelsey Tweed) is about to go down on her boyfriend Tyler (Ryan A. Renfro), she gives him a bunch of shit for not trimming his pubes before the trip. So she sends him off to the lake to go have a quick shave before she continues, and he eagerly shaves his nuts trying to get back to Lindsay so they can pick up where they left off. Tyler ends up nicking his sack and bleeding all over his hand before rinsing off in the lake - little does he know, the lake has been polluted with toxic waste from a nearby laboratory, and the toxic water enters his body through the cut on his sack. By the time Tyler gets back to Lindsay to continue their hookup, Tyler complains of stomach pain... then testicale pain... before ripping his balls out of his body. That's right, Tyler yanks his own two testicles right out of his body. Lindsay runs off in horror, not realizing... the toxicity has caused the scrotum to come to life, and it's out to KILL! What unfolds is a messy, bloody tale of lake goers being slaughtered, one by one, by a giant, killer scrotum. Will Lindsay survive and escape the enormous scrotum, or will she succumb to its ballsy ways?! Find out in... THE SCROTUM!

Even though the film is only an hour (which is perfect for a movie like this - short, sweet, and to the point), there's so much to like before you even get to talking about the actual scrote itself. While The Scrotum may be low budget, it's definitely got some greatness in its aesthetic, including the killer soundtrack, the awesome freeze-frame transitions, the quality special effects (which includes both guts and blood!), and some of the characters you meet along the way. But all of that aside, the star of the show isn't the cute Lindsay or the jerky boyfriend Tyler, it's his ballsack. His evil, evil ballsack. The scrotums on-screen time is very limited in a Cloverfield-kind of way, but what you do see - and when you see it - is fucking gold. I'm desperately trying not to give too much away about the monster itself or the kills, but I can pretty much guarantee you'll either be laughing hysterically or totally disgusted - and either reaction is honestly warranted. But, it makes for an absolutely epic little monster movie. There is no shortage of carnage in The Scrotum, but believe it or not, there's actually a plot that's packed into a neat little package (hehe) regarding the toxic chemical Noxious-8 and why it turned Tyler's manhood into a monster killer! Honestly, this movie is nothing but fun from the beginning to the end (watch past the credits for some extra fun!) and it was better than I expected! The camera goes to a red-POV shot from the scrotums perspective in some scenes and it's almost funnier picturing a scrotum running around in those situations than it is to actually see it happen. Killer movie, killer scrotum - the film is a ball all around!


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